The Truth

I've decided to shelve the manuscript I've worked on for over a year.

Any of you who have followed this blog for a while know that this has been a hard year for me. I've tried to be upbeat about it, but the pregnancy, the months of sickness and sleep deprivation, and the stress of having a sick premie took their toll on me and by extension the story I was writing.

I'm proud of the first 50 pages--the part I wrote last November before I was pregnant. The rest just isn't right. It's never been right. I can't put my finger on exactly why it doesn't work, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I've lost passion for the story.

I wanted to finish it. I wanted to have a brilliant little novel come out of my tough year. But I didn't feel it. The story was meant to be funny and light, but I wasn't in a funny light place. I felt tired and sick and worried and it's hard to hide that from the reader.

As a result the novel needs to be completly rewritten. I don't have the energy to do that right now, so I'm putting it away for a while.

The good news is, I finally feel free to work on one of the projects I'm actually excited about. Writing is FUN again. I started a new manuscript and in just three weeks I've written almost 15,000 words. It's a first draft of course (which means it will need to be rewritten a couple hundred times), but it's a good, usable first draft, with characters that I love and a story that I'm into.

November was good to me. I think I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. My baby is doing much better, I'm feeling creative again, and I'm excited about my life moving forward.

Have you ever lost your passion for a story or shelved a project you'd worked on for a long time?

How did November treat you?

Work in Progress

When we bought our house a couple years ago we liked the house, but what really sold us on the deal was the HUGE garden area hidden behind a hedge in the back yard. My husband and I imagined what we could do with the space and we dreamed BIG. We'd transform the dirt patch into a garden worthy of the Martha Stewart catalogue-- raised beds, stone walkways filled in with Irish moss, mini fruit trees in giant pots, and a fountain to add ambiance. It was going to be awesome.

Two years later it is not awesome... yet. We've started the raised beds. My husband spent half the summer carting giant stones for the walkway and only finished about a third of it. The moss doesn't really like growing between the stones, but weeds LOVE it.

So now mostly we have a giant weed patch with some pretty rectangular structures filled with vegetables in the middle. I know it's a work in progress and it's better than what we started with, but most days all I can see are the weeds.

This is kind of how I feel about my manuscript right now. I haven't even finished the first draft yet, but all the imperfections are driving me crazy. I just have to remind myself that my last one felt like this too. Writing, like creating the perfect garden, just takes time. I need to finish it before I move on to massive revisions.

Maybe in a year I'll have another finished book AND a garden that would make Martha Stewart proud. Or maybe just another finished book.

Do the weeds slow down your writing process or are you able to forget about them until after the first draft is done?

It Takes Time

My mom is an oil painter. For Christmas this year she gave me this:

The photo doesn't really do it justice, (the colors are much more vibrant), but it might give you an idea of why it's so embarrassing that I can't even draw stick figures. She's a real artist.

Today, she had an art day with my four-year-old daughter. This is what my daughter painted:

What I love about this painting (and what my mom always says about my daughter's art) is that it's so expressive. The extra colors and lines, and the crooked smiley face and tilted eyebrows just make me happy. I think I'm going to frame it.

I like looking at these paintings side by side, because they remind me that we all start as beginners. I've only been writing for two and a half years. I'm still learning, trying out new techniques, and practicing hard in hopes that someday I can become a REAL writer. I think sometimes I forget that writing, like any creative pursuit, takes time to master. I'll read something amazing and wonder if I will ever be that good, but I'll forget that most amazing books aren't the author's first attempt at writing.

I've read on agent and editor blogs that more people are writing books and trying get published than ever before. I think this is good. Some of those people are bound to write wonderful things that I will love in years to come. And some will give up, because they'll learn that writing is hard, and writing well is REALLY hard.

I don't want to be one of the ones who give up.

The other thing I gleaned from looking at these paintings side by side is that even though my daughter is a beginner, her picture is still fun to look at. I hope people feel the same about my writing. Just because we're beginners, doesn't mean our stuff isn't worth reading, right?

Are you just beginning your writing journey? Or have you been on this road a long time?

What Makes Writing Good?

Thank you for all the well wishes and prayers these past few days. Your sweet comments were so appreciated. We are doing well and it sounds like her family is coping, despite the difficult circumstances. Thank you.

Last week my mother-in-law and I were discussing books. We were talking about an author and I said something like: "His stories are great, but I his writing drives me crazy."

She was surprised by this reaction and asked me what makes writing good or bad.

I had to stop and think about it for a minute.

My immediate answer was that writing is subjective, what one person loves another may hate and visa versa, but then I came up with a real answer.

If writing is superior words are never wasted. Every word is meaningful, every sentence is beautiful, every thought is perfectly expressed. An example of this (for me) is THE BOOK THEIF, by Markus Zusak.

When writing is good words are rarely wasted. If there is a page of material, 95% of it is pertinent to the story. The words may not be as perfect as those in a superior book, but they get the story across and don't waste my time.

I get annoyed when books are wordy. Bad writing (for me) is when a writer takes a page to express a thought that could easily fit in a paragraph (or a sentence), or uses adverbs with reckless abandon, or spends forever explaining a room when I REALLY want to know if Don and Harriet are going to get back together.

The interesting thing is, I like more than a few books that are written badly. I also hate a few that are written beautifully. Story trumps all. If the story is good enough, I'll suffer through a thousand page book that should have been two hundred pages, AND I'll tell my friends and family I loved it.

I have not mastered the art of good writing. Sometimes I'm sloppy. Sometimes I use more adverbs than I should. Sometimes I start sentences with and, but, or so. I'm working on it. I want my writing to be good so it doesn't distract from my stories.

Do you agree with my assessment? Do you think I'm a raving lunatic? What makes writing good (or bad) in your eyes?