Sunday, March 6, 2011

Being Honest

Some days I read something brilliant and feel like a hack.

Some days I read something awful and wonder HOW it ever got published.

Some days I write and I'm sure what I've written is fantastic.

Some days I read what I wrote the day before and think, "How did I think this was okay yesterday?"

Some days the words flow and I love writing.

Some days writing is hard. I force words to come. Those words suck.

Some days I wonder why I didn't choose a less frustrating obsession. Like cooking. If I put all the time I've devoted to writing into cooking I could be an awesome cook. Maybe. But I love to eat, and if I was an awesome cook I'd probably be a bit chubbier, so it might be a good thing that I chose writing.

Some days I don't write at all. I hold my baby. I read a book. I play blocks with my three-year-old. I watch American Idol. I might even do some laundry.

Some days I'm sure I'll never finish writing this stupid book.

But I'm sure I will... someday.

15 comments:

Roxane B. Salonen said...

Life is messy, Natalie, and unpredictable, and flowing and ebbing all the time. It's part of the tension we live with, but it also makes the journey so interesting. Keep moving along. Some day, things will sort of come together, just before they change once again. It's okay. This is how it's meant to be. This is how we learn, and love, and fall, and get back up again.

Thanks for your honesty. :)

coffeelvnmom said...

You quoted me to a tee (spell?)! I think all of it is just part of the journey... the learning (that never ends), the realizing what works and what doesn't and then applying that to our own writing, the breaks, the infatuation and love of writerly things, the frustration, everything. Keep going. You're on the right track. You'll get there. And thanks for sharing how you feel -- it'll probably help more writers than you'll ever know.

Jessica

Tracy Loewer said...

Yes, there are those days, aren't there? You will finish, and it'll be great!

Melissa said...

I've had all these days. (Though minus the playing with kids stuff as I haven't had kids).

SOme days it's hard to think you'll ever get through any of it, but you've made it this far and if you just keep going, you'll make it through.

Elaine AM Smith said...

That poem holds so many truths. Some days I read what I wrote the day before and think, "How did I think this was okay yesterday?" That made me grin, too-wide :)

Christine Danek said...

I love this. I needed that. It's perfectly true. All of it.
Thanks.

Mary Campbell said...

Wow - I feel the same way as you. I got an awesome e-mail from won of my crit partners about a chapter I wrote that she loved. I was on cloud nine for about an hour and then I read through that chapter and decided she must be wearing rose colored glasses or something. Then an hour later I thought she was right. So crazy to be a writer, but it's way better than cleaning my house.

Anne Gallagher said...

I agree with everything you said except about the cooking. I was a professional chef for many years and I never ate what I cooked. Being around food jsut made me sick. I survived on peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Although there were others I met who weighed in excess. It's all about the creativity, just like in writing, and sometimes, most times, you just burn out.

Great post.

Caroline Starr Rose said...

Have you recently climbed inside my brain??

Joanne Fritz said...

Really appreciate your honesty, Natalie. And everything you said resonated with me. Especially the last part about holding your baby and playing with your three-year-old and maybe doing some laundry. Too often, that was all I did back then. The writing took a backseat. Do I regret it? Only a teeny bit. Because my kids are now grown and make me prouder every day.

Diane said...

Some day is right and some day the timing will be perfect for everything that needs to be in alignment. Hugs and hang in there. :O)

writergal24 said...

Just keep writing! You'll get there soon :)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Some days. . . yes, life is a see-saw, a pendulum, and we have to hang on.

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Yup. I'm pretty sure we all go through this same thing. Well, I can't say I play blocks with my three-year-old cuz I don't have a three-year-old, or an any-year-old for hat matter, but I can totally relate.

You'll finish it! And hurry up so I can read it. xo

Dana Elmendorf said...

Oh yeah, that's how I feel ALL the time. And so did all the other commenters/writers above me and you know what? That gets me excited because for some whacked out reason, feeling exactly like thousands of other writers makes me think I actually have a chance. And I'm not crazy. Or everybody's crazy and crazy is the new sane. :)