Monday, July 18, 2011

Finally Guilt Free (Almost)

I have four little kids. Caring for them is a full-time (plus nights and weekends) job.

I write.

I don't do much else.

It's taken some time, but I think I've finally learned to let go of my guilt over not being a super-mom. I'm at peace with a not-immaculate house, piles of laundry that build until there's no clean underwear, and Costco lasagna for dinner. I probably won't ever be the mom who runs marathons, throws over-the-top birthday parties, or makes my girls prom dresses. But that's okay.

I love my kids. I love my husband. I love my family and friends. I love writing. And life is too short not to put my focus on the things I love.

Do you have to sacrifice some things so you can write?


Have you left a comment on my Celebrating Karen's Book Deal post yet? I'll choose the winner of ENTWINED by Heather Dixon next Monday.

11 comments:

Heather Sunseri said...

I sacrifice A LOT of things. And I noticed it when I got up this morning. :) I'm afraid I'm going to have to clean a little today or face some consequences soon. Of course, I'm going to clean after I write this morning.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I've sacrificed a lot of things, but I won't sacrifice my running. It stimulates all kinds of ideas and helps me solve plot problems. Of course, if it weren't for writing, I'd have a body like Angelina Jolie. But who has time for THAT workout when you have a chapter to revise before the kids come home from school? ;)

Kelly Lyman said...

I'm so thankful that you wrote this. I have three little kids and I'm constantly feeling guilty for the way my house looks or the dinner I cook. I'm still trying to decide when is the best time for me to write though. I feel guilty writing during the day when the kids are awake and guilty writing when they go to bed because I feel like I should spend time with the husband.

Scott Stillwell said...

Actually, I feel guilty for not sacrificing enough for my own writing. It's a pattern I'm trying to change now. I don't have any children yet, which is something my wife and I are also trying to change, but I can imagine how hard you must have to work to balance it all. It's natural for a great mother to worry about her own adequacy, but I'm sure your children will appreciate a vibrant and happy parent that teaches them to follow their own dreams. I would trade that for a spotless house any day.

storyqueen said...

Yeah, I sacrifice a lot so I can be a writer and a mom (and work outside the home, too). What I always struggle with is balance, constantly attempting to make everything work out okay.

When it gets really crazy, I just think of it as leading a very full life, which I would prefer over the alternative, I suppose.

Great post.

Shelley

Caroline Starr Rose said...

Jody Hedlund has a great post about this over at Simple Homeschool today. I know you don't homeschool (me neither!), but what she says rings true.

Elle Strauss said...

Definitely the housework goes. Teach your kids to do their own laundry. If they are ten years old, they can do it. This was and still is such a time saver for me. Even better, get your husband to do his own laundry. That didn't happen for me until I went back to work FT, but now that I'm home again, he still does it. Bonus!

Jessie Oliveros said...

Well, I know a mom who runs marathons. And I know a mom who throws great bday parties. And I know a mom who made all her girls' prom dresses. But I don't know a mom who does all of it. AND, none of those moms write books. I'd say we pretty much have it in us to devote ourselves to our kids plus one thing not-our-kids. That's all I have time for anyway. Yay for guilt riddance! We don't need it. And we're better moms than we think we're not.

Nisa said...

Yeah, I think we all do. The things we love are worth it! (Usually...)

Diane said...

It's kind of a burden lifter to accept that we can't be supermoms and we've all got good and bad qualities. Hugs and have a super week. :O)

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Yes, I sacrifice eating. But it's okay. I was getting tired of eating Ramen noodles. ;)

And you are a total supermom in my opinion! xo